Mobility, movement, and now moving house. Always the constant motion, always entropy. All indications of a life in progress and in this case, my life cycle entering it’s next phase as our little household changes address.
Having emerged singular once from the parental hornest’s nest, then merging into coupledom, and now submerged fully into motherhood with my own subunit aka child; I start to reflect on the attending Relocation. In the temporal, geographical and yes, existential sense even.
You see, in a few days our little nuclear family will be moving to an actual house made of red brick and filled with light. ‘Moving house’ can be a loaded and tiresome phrase especially for me. The result of having had 10 separate dwellings (rarely under polite circumstances and only occasionally to a better place) and living in 2 different continents in the 1st half of one’s life. Call it baggage if you will, but I never did associate relocation with happiness, just instability and a weariness. The notion of a fixed homestead or hearth is sheer Nirvana to this migrant with an Imposter syndrome and it’s definitely my grown up baggage. In contrast, our home-grown 3 yr old is dedicated to marking her new environs and impatient with the prospect all those nooks and crannies in the new abode just waiting to be explored…this probably comes from having watched so many episodes of the intrepid Dora .
Nevertheless my next move is underway for happier reasons now, a bigger home, a nicer neighbourhood and it feels quite right. But already nostalgia has begun to simmer, as I realize the last 10 years were simultaneously the happiest in my life and the longest time spent in one dwelling (methinks these are linked). It really is amazing how saying goodbye to what-will-soon-be Empty Space can still be a poignant event horizon of the heart.
All this whilst cognizant of the fact that all that really matters: material and otherwise, is moving with me too. The Wheel turns, the laws of Thermodynamics stop for no one and my search for new comfort zones still continue.
Already, Disorientated and I have not even budged yet.